Wednesday, August 11, 2010

New Day, New Outlook

No more sulking or the "oh woe is me" vibe...I'm done with that. I'd like to blame pregnancy hormones, but I know that's not the only reason for my overly expressive reaction to yesterday. So, I've had some time now to think about things and process what I'm experiencing a little more. I know this might sound cheesy, but I think I'm kind of mourning. School is over, something on which I have been focusing for the last four years of my life. It was not only school and classes and homework for me. It was a little more than that. I was really involved in school--President of the honors society and Vice President of the school's chapter of ICA (Illinois Counseling Association), a grad assistant, helped teach classes, presented at local, state and international conferences, and was well-known by my professors and peers. And, all of a's all over. I guess I'm a little sad, and I'm very fearful of having to start all over again. Going from a big fish in a little pond to a small fish in a huge lake. I also feel like I'm losing the support (i.e. my professors) that have been there throughout the entire process, constantly challenging and encouraging me, giving me opportunties I would be too afraid to do without them. I will miss them dearly and hope to continue to have a relationship with them that extends beyond the ways of GSU.

I know I have so many things to be thankful for: my family, my friends, my accomplishments, my future, etc. I could list so many things. However, yesterday I was just wanting to sulk and wallow in my misery and be alone. Today, especially after having my very last official class, I felt much better. It felt nice to talk about it with peers as well as see my professors again. It was also wonderful to receive so many emails and comments regarding my bad day (which was truly not the purpose of me posting...I just needed to vent). Thank you, Aunt Patty, for my gorgeous flowers, to Donna and Nichole for the wonderful "Congrats" celebration a couple weeks ago, and my endless support from peers who have already experienced this and for those who are yet to, to those friends who may never but are still here to listen and support, and the professors who pushed me past my level of comfort and challenged me to my fullest.

I do have to give the most thanks to the most important person in my life...Peter. I canNOT express enough all that he has done the past four years. He has supported my every move: beginning grad school, switching from school counseling to marriage/family--which added on another year, adding on the responsibility of a grad assistant, quitting my job after Rowe was born (to focus on school, grad assisting, and the family)--which meant a pretty significant pay cut for us...the list could go on and on. What can I do or give the man who has held my hand, stepped back when I needed to be in the spotlight, hugged me when I cried, took care of our children with never a hesitation or complaint, encouraged me to keep going when I was so stressed and ready to give up, reminded me of my abilities, support my efforts, and most importantly...made me laugh when I thought I couldn't even smile. Peter...I love you so very, very much. There is no way I could have done this without you; thank you for everything you have done for me and continue to do so.

So, no more "oh poor me!" I mean...COME ON! I just finished my Masters in Arts in Marriage and Family Counseling with a 4.0, have passed my NCE (so it's just a matter of time, money, and paperwork to get my LPC number), and have taken and done so many extras throughout the whole process. It's time to be happy, relax, and celebrate. I am really looking forward to my date night on Saturday with Peter, as well as finding a job counseling others, working on an article with a professor and being published, and finishing the certification process in Choice Theory/Reality Therapy (i.e. moving forward in my life).

1 comment:

ReAnna said...

Amy, I am so proud of you my dear. I'm actually getting ready to begin my master's in school counseling and I know that, with a family, a job, and a ton of responsibility it's NOT going to be easy. But, just as you were for me in college, you're STILL a role model...and I completely understand having those tough days/weeks/months. You are an amazing person, mother, wife, and friend. Celebrate honey...YOU DESERVE IT!!!