Thursday, June 10, 2010

So Overwhelmed

Okay, so the past couple days I'm feeling very overwhelmed. It's like I can't catch up with the world around me. My house is disgusting (and please don't tell me housework will be there tomorrow...I know's been here for WEEKS!). I haven't cooked a decent meal for my dear, loving, hardworking hubby in weeks, Katie and I are fighting like crazy (I sometimes feel like we're sisters, not parent-child), I have a ton to do for internship by July 1st, but can't get started on it yet...I think the list could go on and on today. I'm on edge, have little to no patience, easily frustrated and irritable, no energy, and tire easily. I just needed to vent and get this off my chest.

I'm not really sure where to pin point what it is that is putting me so on edge. I feel out of control, the kids are going crazy, not listening, misbehaving (something that is truly out of the norm for them), Rowe is into everything and is getting whiny late afternoons, Kate can't keep her hands off of Rowena--constantly yanking and pulling at her. Maybe it's the fact that Rowena can't seem to stay healthy longer than 2 weeks at a time. She saw Dr. Paul again today, and might be referred to a specialist (allergist/pulmonologist). Or maybe it's because I'm so scared that after all the sacrifices my family has made for me to go back to school will be I'm soooo afraid I won't find a job. I feel like we're relying on my parents too much, and I hate that feeling! I appreciate ALL that they do, I just hate having to need them so much!

I get up early and am very productive from about 6:30-9:30...and then, I crash. Sadly, I'm only keeping up on dishes and laundry. I feel like a failure of a wife and mother the past few weeks. Not sure how to snap out of this funk...but hoping I do soon. I guess I can get off the internet--darn you blogger, email, facebook, and babycenter for sucking me into your world daily. I want to get back to the point where I'm energized, can let things roll off my back, do crafts and parks and picnics with my girls, keep up on housework, and be a good wife! pledge to myself (and by posting this I am trying to stay more accountable) is by the end of June to have the house straightened up, have done 2-3 craft projects with the girls, play with them daily, limit myself to checking those listed websites AFTER they are in bed, and cook 3-4 times a week. I love my family and my life, I just tend to get very overwhelmed at times and just can't seem to bounce back as quickly as I'd like.

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